Smile, baby
by watching every sunset
Summary: & now you're just a memory. The girl with the bubblegum hair and the contagious smile. The girl with a thousand names. The girl that was broken from day one and never really got the chance to heal.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this.

Warning: Spoilers for books five through seven (Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows). Canon RemusTonks and AndromedaTed, not so canon CharlieTonks.

_

* * *

_

_Smile _baby,

You're growing up.

Just yesterday it seems you were learning to walk

To toddle on those _clumsyclumsy _legs

To speak

_(And now you won't shut up!)_

Getting those visits from that funny man you call your cousin

_**(Whatever happened to him anyway?**_

_**You haven't seen him for a longlong time)**_

And dancing under the moon

_(That special time once a month when it was full and_

-ohso-

B e a u t i f u l

&& you would look up and **gaze**

Once upon a time when you were young and innocent

_and the moon was your best friend_

because it was always there,

_r e l i a b l e_

no matter what**)**

And now you're getting on that _bigbig _train

Going to your first year at that _ohsomagical_ school

And Mummy's scared

You think she's being silly

o/v/e/r/p/r/o/t/e/c/t/i/v/e

just like every other Mummy

_**But Mummy I'm grown up now!**_

But really

She's trying to _save _you

You don't know who you are

**Not really**

You're

_Just Dora_

You aren't a

_-Black_

_-Shifter_

_-Danger_

(**(not yet)**)

You see their _prying eyes_

And you think it's just because you're a

_Littleclumsy_

You don't notice their

Shocked**eyes **

When you're sorted into Hufflepuff

_(But surely she should be a_

_...Slytherin?)_

&& it's then that you find out.

When

Certain people won't trust you

And

Certain people look at you funny

And you can't understand _w h y_

(You know about the war

And that meanmean man

But not **enough**

Butbut those people

That lost their _lovesdones_

Don't know that, now, do they dear?)

People **glare **at you

(not many; only some

&& it's mostly the parents, anyway)

And you hear those names

_Bella__**trix **__Le__**strange**_

_**Regu**__lus **Black**_

&& you don't know what they're talking about

_But then you hear that one name_

**Sirius Black.**

_**That's my cousin!**_

...

_Sweat_ baby

Under their _prying eyes_

_**He's a **_

**k i l l e r**

Or at least

So they say.

&& soon you hear about those names

_Bella&&Reg&&Sirius_

++ Maybe **they** were _**bad**_

But **he **wasn't

Surely not

_He shouldn't be in there!_

You cling to that until you see him again.

_(because he was part of something you always wanted-_

_A family._

_And now without him you've barely got it._

_You hear those tales about your meanmean aunts_

_And that one little cousin_

_&& you wish that maybe_

_Justmaybe_

_You weren't all a part of this_

_**Massive**legacy_

_&& that you could all be a __real __family_

_Just like everyone else has._

_&& they all get Uncles&Aunts&Cousins&Grandparents_

_So why can't you?)_

_**You're just a broken girl;;**_

_**&& Maybe you didn't realise it before**_

_**But you've never been completely whole.**_

But then again how could you be?

Those normal people fear you

_(she's related to Death Eaters!)_

and those

Purebloods

Sneer at you.

_(A Half-Blood? On the Black family tree?_

_WhatADisgrace!_

_And she's a shifter too._

**_Dis gus ting_**_)_

&& you're just caught in the middle.

_Notquitesure _where to turn.

_Who could expect you to be whole?_

...

_Love _baby

You've fallen in it

_(or so you think)_

With that boy

Your

_bestbestfriend_

Dragonboy.

Seeker.

Weasley.

&& you know what?

He's fallen for you too

&& you're so _grown up_

(But really you're _**young and foolish**_-

_You're only sixteen kiddo)_

You give eachother _everything_

&& you're naive enough to think it might last for_ever_.

...

_Choke _baby

He's _goingoingoing_

To that one place

With the stupid name

And you're **h**e**a**r**t**b**r**o**k**e**n**

_(or so you think.)_

But then again

You're going to be an auror.

&& it's what you've always wanted

Right?

_They treat you like they did at Hogwarts_

**With caution**

She's a Black!

We can't 

T

R

U

S

T

Her!

_She'll only turn into one of __**them**_

**Oh don't worry**

_**She'll be locked up in a few years.**_

Nobody sees you for you

**N**y**m**p**h**a**d**o**r**a

You're just a

_-Black_

_-Shifter_

_-Danger_

No one but him.

He takes you _underhiswing_

(Merlin knows why-

You're just that clumsy little girl-

_Hell, one of the youngest in the class!_

Why should you get this

_**Honour?**_)

He sees something in you.

_(Something you can't even see in yourself)_

...

_Grin_ baby

You're an auror now

_(And one of the few from your bunch_

_Only Twenty two!_

_Youngest for __**years**__)_

Mummy and Daddy are so _**proud**_

&& you've got those two people that believed in you

MadEye&&Kingsley

&& you've even got Charlie

_Even if it's just for a second_

_**&& you're so grown up!**_

...Right?

...

_Laugh _baby

_**Everything's going **_**perfectly**

You've been an auror for a

_Wholeyear_

&& now you're trusted enough

(by one of the greatest wizards to ever live!)

To become a part of the

_OrderOfThePhoenix_

(&& even the _name _sounds magical to you)

And you know what?

You've got him back

Your_cousin_

&& he hugs you close

"_I always knew you'd do it. __**Siriusly!**__"_

&& you've got a _little sister_

Something you always wanted

That girl that _**looks up to you**_

(Although honestly you have no idea _why_)

Ginevra Weasley

"_You're so cool Tonks! I want to be just like you!"_

&& that broken girl

Hermione Granger

"_Thank you Tonks! You've given me confidence!"_

&& you've got you're best friend

(or at least one of them;;

you've gotten _over_Charlie.

_**well you kindasorta had to**_)

William Weasley

"_Honestly, you're such a prat sometimes..._

_But that's why I love you."_

&& you've got someone to confide in

Molly Weasley

"_No dear, it's lovely having you around!"_

&& the man that believed in you

Alastor Moody

"_Always knew you'd be one of the best we've had."_

&& that one man that makes you feel **special**

"_Hello, my name is Remus John Lupin"_

(Baby, don't deny it-

he had you at hello)

&& suddenly you're not

_-Black_

_-Shifter_

_-Danger_

You're **Tonks**.

And you're **happy.**

&& you're**healing.**

_(what could possibly go wrong?)_

...

_Cry _baby

You've lost it all

(&& you're losing your _mind _too)

_**She **_was there

Bella**trix** Le_**strange**_

_(Yeah, 'strange' would be right)_

&& she taunted you

&& it _scared _you how much she could hurt you

You've never met her before

_**But she knows how to hit you where it hurts**_.

++ you fall

And when you wake

_He's gone._

(not like the last time-

Last time he could come back.

Last time he _came _back.

This time he's not coming back.

Ever.)

&& suddenly you're falling.

Oh, you're used to falling.

**B**ut**N**ot**L**ike**T**his

Not this _h_a_r_d.

You've fallen _inlove_

And that _'love'_ you felt before

Is nothing compared to this.

_(&& you remember that time when you danced under the moon_

_it's still the same moon, darling_

_but now it's_

-ohso-

u g** l** _y_

&& now that _reliable _bestfriend

is your worst enem_y_

_Because it's always there_

no matter what)

&& for the next year your life becomes a cycle

_TooOldTooPoorTooDangerous_

_**Tell me you don't love me.**_

_I... You'd be better off without me._

&& you see **her**

You don't mean to

(don't _want _to)

But she _**finds **_you

_**Wolfie **__doesn't __love you-_

I _killed_ _**Sirius Black**__-_

_Little __**shifter **__freak__-_

_**Nobody **__loves __you-_

&& the worst part?

_You believe _her.

She's _**breaking **_you baby

She's got _**power **_over you

(&&Andromeda&&Narcissa&&Draco&&Sirius&&Regulus...)

She **always**_has_

&& then that

_Greatwizard_

**d i e s**

_(&& if he couldn't do it what hope does a little girl like you have?_

_Not so grown up anymore dear, are you?)_

&& you're giving up

Losingit.

_(YourMind?_

_Don't worry dear, all Black's lose their minds at some point)_

...

_Hope _baby

Things are picking up

He _loves _you

&& he's stopped denying it

&& you're married

_Soso grown up!_

_**Things will get better**_

You're _healing_

(**(and even the fact that she still wants you**

**Chases you for that **_**wholenight**_

**Nearly kills little Weasley too**

**Can't stop that.**

**Because you're not scared.**

**You're an adult now.**

_**Right?**_**)**)

...

_Gasp _baby

Someone else has gone

That one man that believed in you,

Trusted you when no one else would,

_Yeahhe'sdead_

butbut

You're

_Havingababy_

&& you're excited-

_(A little scared)_

But happy.

_**Until he leaves.**_

...

_Break _baby

You're alone

&& now Daddy's gone

(_soso many people have left you)_

&& you're losing it again

_Yourmind._

...

_Breathe _baby

He's back.

&& he loves you

_Even if your mother has threatened to castrate him._

&& then you hear

_**Daddy's dead.**_

Butbut you promise to be strong.

_**For Mummy.**_

...

_Beam _baby

You've done it

_**You're a Mummy now**_

&& he's _perfect_

Theodore Remus Lupin

&& you hold him

&& he

(Remus of course)

He holds you

And you're a family

_That one thing you always wanted_

But_ never really had_

And he's happy

(delighted in fact; nobody's seen him this happy in _years_)

And you're happy

_And it's just so perfect._

And you're

_Healed._

(But how can you be fixed

When you weren't even _whole _to start with?)

...

_Scream _baby

You're there

In the castle

_Fightingfightingfighting_

&& she's there too

_Youknowit._

(There was a reason you came tonight)

_**And then.**_

_**You. **_

_**See.**_

_**Him.**_

_**F**_

_**A**_

_**L**_

_**L**_

_And you break again._

**((**ItWasAllTooBrief.**))**

You see her and you

_Loseyourmind a little bit more_

She's broken you so many times before

&& now she's laughing

**Wolfie**'s _dead._

_**stupid little girl.**_

_so __**weak.**_

And then you know.

You were just a child before.

You were _scared_.

But not anymore.

You are going to face her.

It's _**d**o**o**r**d**ie._

(_&& Harry though __he __was the only one with problems.)_

You look her straight in the eye.

And what you see _shakes _you.

_**The two of you aren't so different.**_

She's been hurt before, too.

She's loved someone that couldn't love her back.

And she's had people taken from her.

(**(**_**Her 'Dromeda. **_

_**Her **_**favourite**_** sister.**_**)**)

&& she's had people think _theworst _of her.

The difference is;;

_You _proved them wrong

+ _she _proved them right

_&&ThatCould'veBeenYou_

But It's Not.

&& then

_You're _the one laughing at _her_

_**You're the weak one, Bella.**_

She sneers.

She glares.

She screams.

_(Because she knows that you're right?_

_&& you've found her little weakness_

_That brokenlittlegirl inside of her)_

&& maybe

Justmaybe

That's why she does it.

She stops taunting you.

And for once in her life-

She stops playing games.

&& maybe that's why.

You've worked her out.

_Scared _her.

"_**Avada Kedavra!"**_

...

_Blink _baby.

It's flashing before your e y e s

_(Nonono_

_You __can't__ be dead!_

_You've got a baby to care for_

_Little Teddy_

_You wanted to watch him grow up soso much._

_Wanted to be his Mum 'till he was old_

_&& what about your Mummy?_

_She's lost so much_

_too__much_

_She'll __break__ without you there!_

_&& you already promised Ginny that you'd be there for her_

_When she has her __own __baby_

_And..._

_And...)_

&& suddenly he's holding you again.

Your_cousin_.

"_I'm sorry. I've missed you Dory"_

&& you know it's true.

Because there's

_Sirius_

andand

_Mad-Eye_

andand

_Daddy_

andand

_That one Uncle that always smelled kinda funny_

andand

_**Remus**_.

&& you know it will all be okay.

...But even so

...

You never really got the chance to do

_Somany _things

&& now you're just a memory.

The girl with the bubblegum hair and the contagious smile.

The girl with a thousand names.

The girl that was a descendant of something _somuchbigger _than she could ever be.

The girl that was _broken _from day one

And never really got the chance to heal.

_(not completely)_

_

* * *

_A/N: So that was my little... Piece on Tonks. Tonks is my favorite (or one of my favorite) characters but due to the films (which she was barely in) and the final book (in which she seemed to lose almost all importance to Remus and just about everyone else. I mean, most of the time she was only mentioned in passing...) she gets forgotten about. If you really think about everything that's happened then she's had a pretty tough time. I wanted to do a more in-depth piece and I'm having a bit of an obsession with the family at the moment. Feedback would be rather appreciated!


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